This blog was created when I was a single woman in Los Angeles. I had so many stories, that I felt compelled to document and share. As most people know, Los Angeles is electric and incredible, but it's the hardest place in the country to find a good man. I was single for a long time, and while I loved my life and friends here, my dating life was "interesting" to say the least. Enjoy and feel free to share your own stories.
For more information on Erica, please visit www.EricaBryn.com
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Guest bloggers. Share your stories...Men, don't be shy!
I want to open this up to YOUR dating stories. Please post your funniest dating story here in the comment section. I can NOT wait to start reading! Ready?......GO!
i have waaay too many from my dating past because i did a lot of online dating. there was one guy who repeatedly texted me not to flake out on him when he didn't even know me (fyi, i'm NOT a flake) and when i arrived at coffee bean, he bought his first and didn't even offer to buy my tea latte. this is a guy wearing a real leather jacket (ugly, btw) and a pinky ring (ick). after an hour, i went to the bathroom and told a friend to call me in 1 min...then i went back out, got an "emergency" call, and had to leave.
once I was on a horrible date...guy kept talking about what a catch he was, gasping loudly at the menu prices, asked if I could drive his car home for him. His stories were all too familiar, then I realized I had been out with him before - on a first and definitely last date.....now I am as green as the next eco-friendly girl, but really? Recycling dates? LA is getting smaller and smaller.
I am new to dating - I was married for 10 years. I recently got involved with a woman. Of course one of the first things I asked her is if she had a boyfriend . . (a very diplomatic way to ask her if she was having sex). We were involved for quite some time . . more than I care to admit; and of course since I aint' got game, I took it nice and slow - very gentleman. Well, things just were not happening, not moving in that direction. What I learned, what I did not know, is that to clarify in these matters one may not have a boyfriend to be having sex. Apparently the question I failed to ask is, "Do you get hosed and go home with a stranger every weekend?" - I will be sure to ask that of all my future love interests from now on - right from the begging just to clarify things.
I have a good one...there are many, but this one is the craziest. I went on a few dates with a guy who I met on the free site Plenty of Fish. His first name was J. Just...J. Like J. Edgar Hoover. He was very attractive,intelligent, and seemed worldly, but....very odd at times, which only got worse in the short time I knew him. It should have been a red flag when he started posting strange things on the site like how women being crazy is sooo attractive to him... One night I texted him to say that I was out with co-workers, and asked if he wanted to meet up. He said no thank you. Later, he said maybe he could meet me after all for "dessert, or is it desert?" I replied "dessert, and we are just getting the check." As in, let's meet up after. His response was something like this: "you have at least three distinct different personalities that I have noticed. You either have multiple personalities or borderline personality disorder, that are making you behave like a passive aggressive bitch who will never be able to keep a man." I responded that he must have misunderstood my text, but I never heard from him again, thankfully!
Mr. Stingy - I haven't done much dating as such - I am more of a relationship person, however I do recall my worst date.
I'd gone on a couple of dates with this handsome Doc who was a true triple S. He was doing reasearch and was working on translating a chapter of an encyclopedia, basically he got the money and I did the work.
One evening we had a date at his place and I helped him once more on his job until dinner time came round and he invited me to stay.
We got to the table and it was set for one, and he sat in that place. So I lingered by the table thinking I may have misunderstood the invitation, but he insisted I sit down in the empty place in front of him. He had prepared some fish which he put on his plate and did not offer me any, then put some ham, melon and bread in the centre of the table.
I asked him how he expected me to eat without a dish and cutlery, and he told me to relax and eat with my hands. I should have left at that point, but I was young and still drooling into his deep blue eyes, so I stayed.
As I was poking a slice of ham in my mouth with my fingers, he cried out: "Hey! What are you doing?!" so I froze, embarassed, and stammered back: "Eating with my hands, like you told me.."
He retorted: "That's fine, but you shouldn't eat the ham without the bread or you'll finish all my ham!"
oh i have another one - there was another online date guy who wanted to meet up with me and i tried cancelling cause i was really tired from yoga, but he was really persistent. it sort of creeped me out but i still went. we met up at aroma, but i got there a bit early cause i knew the guys working the counter at the time and told them that if anything weird happened, they had to get me out of the date. so i'm waiting for the guy to show up, and then i finally find him - sipping his drink already. so i go ahead and get mine and we sit down to chat...he immediately says, let's go for a ride in my car. i say, uh no i just got my drink and would like to sit. he's like, oh i have a thunderbird (or something like that...i have no idea, but i wasn't impressed). then he's like, can i borrow your phone, i have to call into work? uh...sure. he steps out, and one of the guys from the counter comes to check on me - by this point, i'm totally weirded out but i still don't want to be rude. he says he'll think of something. then my date comes back, again saying let's get in my car, and fortunately my phone rings...my friend erin is calling to check in, i give her the code word and she's like, uh i've been in an accident. so i get off the phone and tell my date i have to go, my friend's been in an accident...he's like, i'll drive you! i say no thanks, she's really upset & doesn't want to see anyone but me. my phone rings again and it's my friend shelley (my back-up caller in case the first caller forgets) and i'm like i gotta go, erin's been in an accident. she pauses, then says, really? i said no, and she answers, ok, call me later! i grab my drink and get the heck out of aroma. i was so creeped out by the guy, i kept checking my rearview mirror in case he followed me home
Good one Jenna! I got another one too! MR STINGY (again) - second date (I had totally forgotten this) - Same triple S doc, in free time plays football. Invites me to a post-game dinner with his team, the opposing teams and relative dates, so it's quite a crowd of about 40 people.
He orders a salad and I copy him. The salad cost 6 Euros (it was 10 yrs ago but I still remember this detail).
When the bill comes he makes a big deal about the fact that he is going to pay for my dinner, and singles out the 2 salads and prepares 12 Euros.
His friends then point out that the bill is going to be split evenly amongst everyone and that the total is 10 Euros per person. Then his team mates remind him that since they had lost, they had to pay for dinner, respectively, for each member of the winning team. Which meant he had to pay for 3 quotas.
So he stands up and, in a loud voice, pointing at me sais: "Hey, that's not fair, I already told HER I was going to pay for her dinner - I can't pay 2 salads 30 Euros"
I cringed and left - only to go back for the Ham episode!
I met a girl at bar on Friday night (SOBER). Did the number exchange and we decided to meet for an early Sunday dinner because she would be in my area. We met at C&O's in Venice. As we waited to be seated I started to notice she was talking alot. Without Breaks, Pauses or Questions. Just a big run on sentence. I thought she was nervous until we were seated and 15 minutes later she was still going. As she opened the menu there was a pause. I seized it and offered a piece of knowledge about myself to maybe get a ummm, ughhh what are those called. CONVERSATION going. I believe I said something about New York then she started again and where she was from and off she went as did my look of interest started to fade. The waiter came over numerous times and we kept shoeing him away because she was still talking and hadn't yet looked at the menu. Finally on the waiters 4th attempt. While she was talking I ordered Tea and She said "Umm coffee" before continuing her rant. She talked about everything from her family, her religion, her dogs and then BAM! Her Career as a Model/ actress career in Germany and how she looking to now make it big in LA. I've now concluded she is under the illusion that this is an interview and I am a huge Director/producer with many projects in the works and she wants in. Either that or she was just simply crazy. She continued. When the waiter dropped off the sugar I asked for the check. She talked more..No questions were asked. Waiter came back with the bill I gave him my Credit card before he could put it down. She talked. Waiter returned. I signed. As I signed. The Girl said "Thanks for the drinks I left my wallet in the car." I actually started to crack up at how ludicrous that sounded then I shook my head in disbelief. Anyway, We got up and started walking down the street. And then this she said, "You live near here don't you?" I said, "Yes, I actually live in that house in back of the restaurant." (She already knew that) She said, "I'd love to see it." I said "Where did you park?" She Pointed across the street. I said "Welp, This was fun."
A message to Ladies on Match.com from a nice single guy in Santa Monica.
Okay so i know we are all super lonely. I mean here i am with you on a pay for dating site. Can you do all guys a few favors though: 1) girls seem to love to take pictures of themselves and their friends, mostly female, in sexy suggestive poses. The problem is as i guy, i am ALWAYS attracted to the most beautiful girl in a picture, so when i see your match picture with you and all of your sorority sisters, i will undoubtedly be disappointed when i find out that your not the hot blonde with the nice legs, but the nerdy brunette with the hot friends. Please just pictures of you, I don't really need to see what i am not getting, i would rather focus on what i might get.
2) Do i really need to see you climb the Pyramids at Giza, grapple through the amazonian rain forest, or skydive...my favorite, so many skydive pictures. I mean compared to my simple life of work, music, TV, repeat. I'm not going to be that exciting of an alternative for you. I mean if you have stood at the Cristo Redentor in Brazil, or climbed to the tip of K2 I don't think my little stories about how my OCD kept me from crossing the road today would keep you that captivated.
Most likely you put these pictures of other more beautiful woman, and pictures of you skydiving off the Himalayas to weed out assholes like me, however even assholes edit themselves...all I'm saying is 'editing' girls...
i have waaay too many from my dating past because i did a lot of online dating. there was one guy who repeatedly texted me not to flake out on him when he didn't even know me (fyi, i'm NOT a flake) and when i arrived at coffee bean, he bought his first and didn't even offer to buy my tea latte. this is a guy wearing a real leather jacket (ugly, btw) and a pinky ring (ick). after an hour, i went to the bathroom and told a friend to call me in 1 min...then i went back out, got an "emergency" call, and had to leave.
ReplyDeleteonce I was on a horrible date...guy kept talking about what a catch he was, gasping loudly at the menu prices, asked if I could drive his car home for him. His stories were all too familiar, then I realized I had been out with him before - on a first and definitely last date.....now I am as green as the next eco-friendly girl, but really? Recycling dates? LA is getting smaller and smaller.
ReplyDeleteI am new to dating - I was married for 10 years. I recently got involved with a woman. Of course one of the first things I asked her is if she had a boyfriend . . (a very diplomatic way to ask her if she was having sex). We were involved for quite some time . . more than I care to admit; and of course since I aint' got game, I took it nice and slow - very gentleman. Well, things just were not happening, not moving in that direction.
ReplyDeleteWhat I learned, what I did not know, is that to clarify in these matters one may not have a boyfriend to be having sex. Apparently the question I failed to ask is, "Do you get hosed and go home with a stranger every weekend?"
- I will be sure to ask that of all my future love interests from now on - right from the begging just to clarify things.
I have a good one...there are many, but this one is the craziest. I went on a few dates with a guy who I met on the free site Plenty of Fish. His first name was J. Just...J. Like J. Edgar Hoover.
ReplyDeleteHe was very attractive,intelligent, and seemed worldly, but....very odd at times, which only got worse in the short time I knew him.
It should have been a red flag when he started posting strange things on the site like how women being crazy is sooo attractive to him...
One night I texted him to say that I was out with co-workers, and asked if he wanted to meet up. He said no thank you. Later, he said maybe he could meet me after all for "dessert, or is it desert?" I replied "dessert, and we are just getting the check." As in, let's meet up after. His response was something like this:
"you have at least three distinct different personalities that I have noticed. You either have multiple personalities or borderline personality disorder, that are making you behave like a passive aggressive bitch who will never be able to keep a man."
I responded that he must have misunderstood my text, but I never heard from him again, thankfully!
Mr. Stingy - I haven't done much dating as such - I am more of a relationship person, however I do recall my worst date.
ReplyDeleteI'd gone on a couple of dates with this handsome Doc who was a true triple S. He was doing reasearch and was working on translating a chapter of an encyclopedia, basically he got the money and I did the work.
One evening we had a date at his place and I helped him once more on his job until dinner time came round and he invited me to stay.
We got to the table and it was set for one, and he sat in that place. So I lingered by the table thinking I may have misunderstood the invitation, but he insisted I sit down in the empty place in front of him. He had prepared some fish which he put on his plate and did not offer me any, then put some ham, melon and bread in the centre of the table.
I asked him how he expected me to eat without a dish and cutlery, and he told me to relax and eat with my hands. I should have left at that point, but I was young and still drooling into his deep blue eyes, so I stayed.
As I was poking a slice of ham in my mouth with my fingers, he cried out: "Hey! What are you doing?!" so I froze, embarassed, and stammered back: "Eating with my hands, like you told me.."
He retorted: "That's fine, but you shouldn't eat the ham without the bread or you'll finish all my ham!"
I left him, and his ham!
once upon a time..I took a Bulgarian girl for ice cream. She barely spoke english so we didnt talk much but the ice cream was tasty!!!
ReplyDeleteoh i have another one - there was another online date guy who wanted to meet up with me and i tried cancelling cause i was really tired from yoga, but he was really persistent. it sort of creeped me out but i still went. we met up at aroma, but i got there a bit early cause i knew the guys working the counter at the time and told them that if anything weird happened, they had to get me out of the date. so i'm waiting for the guy to show up, and then i finally find him - sipping his drink already. so i go ahead and get mine and we sit down to chat...he immediately says, let's go for a ride in my car. i say, uh no i just got my drink and would like to sit. he's like, oh i have a thunderbird (or something like that...i have no idea, but i wasn't impressed). then he's like, can i borrow your phone, i have to call into work? uh...sure. he steps out, and one of the guys from the counter comes to check on me - by this point, i'm totally weirded out but i still don't want to be rude. he says he'll think of something. then my date comes back, again saying let's get in my car, and fortunately my phone rings...my friend erin is calling to check in, i give her the code word and she's like, uh i've been in an accident. so i get off the phone and tell my date i have to go, my friend's been in an accident...he's like, i'll drive you! i say no thanks, she's really upset & doesn't want to see anyone but me. my phone rings again and it's my friend shelley (my back-up caller in case the first caller forgets) and i'm like i gotta go, erin's been in an accident. she pauses, then says, really? i said no, and she answers, ok, call me later! i grab my drink and get the heck out of aroma. i was so creeped out by the guy, i kept checking my rearview mirror in case he followed me home
ReplyDeleteGood one Jenna! I got another one too!
ReplyDeleteMR STINGY (again) - second date (I had totally forgotten this) - Same triple S doc, in free time plays football. Invites me to a post-game dinner with his team, the opposing teams and relative dates, so it's quite a crowd of about 40 people.
He orders a salad and I copy him. The salad cost 6 Euros (it was 10 yrs ago but I still remember this detail).
When the bill comes he makes a big deal about the fact that he is going to pay for my dinner, and singles out the 2 salads and prepares 12 Euros.
His friends then point out that the bill is going to be split evenly amongst everyone and that the total is 10 Euros per person. Then his team mates remind him that since they had lost, they had to pay for dinner, respectively, for each member of the winning team. Which meant he had to pay for 3 quotas.
So he stands up and, in a loud voice, pointing at me sais: "Hey, that's not fair, I already told HER I was going to pay for her dinner - I can't pay 2 salads 30 Euros"
I cringed and left - only to go back for the Ham episode!
The TALKER
ReplyDeleteI met a girl at bar on Friday night (SOBER). Did the number exchange and we decided to meet for an early Sunday dinner because she would be in my area.
We met at C&O's in Venice. As we waited to be seated I started to notice she was talking alot.
Without Breaks, Pauses or Questions. Just a big run on sentence. I thought she was nervous until we were seated and 15 minutes later she was still going. As she opened the menu there was a pause. I seized it and offered a piece of knowledge about myself to maybe get a ummm, ughhh what are those called. CONVERSATION going. I believe I said something about New York then she started again and where she was from and off she went as did my look of interest started to fade.
The waiter came over numerous times and we kept shoeing him away because she was still talking and hadn't yet looked at the menu. Finally on the waiters 4th attempt. While she was talking I ordered Tea and She said "Umm coffee" before continuing her rant. She talked about everything from her family, her religion, her dogs and then BAM! Her Career as a Model/ actress career in Germany and how she looking to now make it big in LA.
I've now concluded she is under the illusion that this is an interview and I am a huge Director/producer with many projects in the works and she wants in. Either that or she was just simply crazy. She continued.
When the waiter dropped off the sugar I asked for the check. She talked more..No questions were asked.
Waiter came back with the bill I gave him my Credit card before he could put it down. She talked.
Waiter returned. I signed. As I signed. The Girl said "Thanks for the drinks I left my wallet in the car." I actually started to crack up at how ludicrous that sounded then I shook my head in disbelief. Anyway, We got up and started walking down the street. And then this she said,
"You live near here don't you?" I said,
"Yes, I actually live in that house in back of the restaurant." (She already knew that)
She said,
"I'd love to see it." I said
"Where did you park?"
She Pointed across the street. I said
"Welp, This was fun."
annndd SCENE!
A message to Ladies on Match.com from a nice single guy in Santa Monica.
ReplyDeleteOkay so i know we are all super lonely. I mean here i am with you on a pay for dating site. Can you do all guys a few favors though:
1) girls seem to love to take pictures of themselves and their friends, mostly female, in sexy suggestive poses. The problem is as i guy, i am ALWAYS attracted to the most beautiful girl in a picture, so when i see your match picture with you and all of your sorority sisters, i will undoubtedly be disappointed when i find out that your not the hot blonde with the nice legs, but the nerdy brunette with the hot friends. Please just pictures of you, I don't really need to see what i am not getting, i would rather focus on what i might get.
2) Do i really need to see you climb the Pyramids at Giza, grapple through the amazonian rain forest, or skydive...my favorite, so many skydive pictures. I mean compared to my simple life of work, music, TV, repeat. I'm not going to be that exciting of an alternative for you. I mean if you have stood at the Cristo Redentor in Brazil, or climbed to the tip of K2 I don't think my little stories about how my OCD kept me from crossing the road today would keep you that captivated.
Most likely you put these pictures of other more beautiful woman, and pictures of you skydiving off the Himalayas to weed out assholes like me, however even assholes edit themselves...all I'm saying is 'editing' girls...