Lost in Text.

I believe we did ourselves a terrible injustice by introducing text messaging into our lives.  Especially our dating lives.  Does it say something about the laziness of today's humans?  Or is it just that we don't want to be bothered with actually hearing each others voices?  Here are some example of texts in the world of dating. 

1.  The "Jab."
This is usually a one-liner that is intended to put the receiver in his or her place.  It is "The last word" (even though it usually isn't.) 
"Guess not." (This is usually if you don't text this person back right away.)
"You don't look or act your age."  (My 38 year-old friend actually received this one.  I told her to say, "Wow, THANKS!"
"Don't bother texting back."  (I won't.)

2. The Breakup 
When did it become acceptable to break-up with someone via text?  I can see if you are 17, but full-grown men and women are partaking in text break-ups.  These are sometimes 3 or 4 part texts.  (Probably best to break-up.)

3. The Fight
Back-and-forth and back-and-forth.  And of course half of the material is misunderstood because there is no tone nor inflection in cyberland.  The best is when you finally call them to talk it out and they don't pick up their phone.  I got a text once that said, "You're mean."  I thought he was trying to be flirty and cute.  So I texted him back, "You're mean."  Turns out, he thought I was mean.*
*footnote:  if you don't know me, I am really nice.  I have been called "too nice."

4.  The Unscolicited Naked Photo Texts
The worst one is when shirtless guys pull their pants down just above genitals and snap a photo of themself in the bathroom mirror.  And incidentally, why don't they smile in these?  You usually get the "Blue Steel."
Then there are bolder ones who just go straight for the erect penis photo.  Hot if you are engaged in phone sex or if you have requested this photo.  If not, just stick to the "Hope you're having a good day."  Which brings me to.....

5. The Small Talk Texts
"Hi."
"How are you?"
"What's up?" 
What are you supposed to text back to this?  "Fine.  How are you?"  "Not much. What's up with you?"  It's all very confusing.

6. Acronyms
LOL, OMG, LMAO.  The list goes on.  I believe it's best just to stick with "Ha ha." 

7. The Last-Minute Text Cancel
My friend Joel just posted on my Facebook to not forget how women love to text last-minute to cancel a date.  I bet it looks something like this: "Don't kill me but I have been throwing up all day and am not getting better. I am SOOOOO sorry. Raincheck?"

I was told by several people that I should put some examples in this blog of good things men do. 
So here goes:  CALL, nice texts like "thinking of you,"  text photos of sunsets....or animals.  If you are one of these guys, you're doing it right.  Kudos.