Saturday, February 5, 2011

On-line intros

So I got this e-mail the other day from one of my guy friends:
"On internet dating. What does a dude normally say to you on first greeting? Does he just say Hey? Does he compliment you on something? Does he actually do a full on introduction "Hi my name is so and so, I do this job, I make this much, I like you. we should go out." Just curious if there is a rhyme or reason to anything."

When I was reading this I thought, "Oh, this is a good one for Bad Date LA!"   
So I am going to break it up into sections because I have experienced so many creative (and not-so-creative) intros. 

1. Overly-confident intro
(These guys usually have their shirt off in their profile pic.)
"So what do you think?  Think you can handle it?"  (Yep, copy and pasted, folks.)
"I have been told I am quite the catch!"
"I put all those other guys to shame."
"I am extrememly handsome, very wealthy and hilarious."  (Extremely.  It makes me chuckle just reading it.) 

2. The form letter intro
Generic full-bio cut and pasted intro.  These guys are so transparent because when you don't write back, they forget they contacted you and you get the exact same e-mail 2 months later.

3. The spontaneous inpromptu date intro
These guys send out an e-mail testing to see how spontaneous you are.  "Why don't we throw caution to the wind and meet at Spago in an hour?"  Or the hotel room one: "I am staying at the Marriot in Westwood.  Whattya say you come down here and join me tonight?"  (Also cut and pasted.)

4. Already in love intro
These guys have looked over my profile and decided they are in love before even meeting me.  "You are the one I have been searching for."  "Where have you been all my life?"  "Let's run away together."  "Will you marry me?" 

5. Short and not-sweet intro
"Hey"  (No name...nothing....just  "hey.")
"You're hot."  or better yet, "Your hot." 

6. The rare witty attention grabber
I have received some e-mail intros that had me laughing out loud.  Those are the ones I write back.....unless they're 5'2".

2 comments:

  1. A couple of my personal favorites:

    - The Funny Dude: A guy messages me with -- "Skeleton walks into a bar. He says to the bartender: "I'll have a beer, and a mop." -- Hysterical. Or.
    - The guy that gets offended that I prefer to date guys taller than myself: "Oh how I love seeing the nonchalant dismissal of short guys as a matter of fashion accessorizing. "It's my need to wear heels, guys. I promise. *cough* " --- Keep in mind, this guy was 6'5".

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would tell your friend not to overthink it and be himself. Like you, I rarely got witty emails, and those are the ones I wrote back, too, but there are girls out there who love "your hot.."
    I have an example of the "trying too hard" example...I had just hit save on a profile, and within one minute a guy messaged me. We had indie music in common, and he ran with it, to the point where he wanted me to go to a concert with him, the next day, I think.
    I got spooked, because when I said no, he said something along the lines of "come on, I thought this would be a great way for us to connect!" Spontaneous, yes, but too fast, too creepy. He was a magician, and I read in his profile that hypnotism was part of it.. I pictured myself tied up in a closet clucking like a chicken...better safe than sorry!

    ReplyDelete