Match.bomb

#1 Hi Guy

My first time attempting Match.com last year.  A man finds me who is a high-profile actor and extremely handsome.  His profile is a bit long-winded (and I use that term loosely …it was an essay,)  but what the heck?  So he picks me up and seems charming enough.  He starts talking immediately and doesn’t stop.  When he does stop talking, he takes a pause and a breath and looks at me coyly and says, “hi.”  He said “hi” about 20 times throughout the evening.  At the end of the night, I said, “bye.” 

#2 Travelling Business Man (This one can best be described by our text exchanges-"E" is me and "B" is him)

(after date)

B:Finally got into bed.  This is wonderful.  It was great to meet you.  I enjoyed talking, seeing ocean park and our little stairway romance!  Good night.

(next morning)

E:  Hi!  Just got your text.  I had a great time last night.  Hoping to see you next week.  Have a great day

(He flies to Georgia for "business") 

Thursday (supposed to be flying in today and our date is tomorrow)

E:  so is it safe to assume were not going out tomorrow night?

B: (sent at 1 p.m.) yes, a safe assumption.  I haven’t been loquacious.  I almost wasn’t going to be there, and didn’t want to be rude. I land at 2.  are you free around 3pm? (Keep in mind that it is 1 p.m. so I guess he is texting from the airplane??)

E: No, I have to teach 2:30-6.  That text was confusing.  Whats up?

B: yes it was!  I cant tell even now just what my words meant.  We should hang out.  I'd like to keep getting to know you.  Tomorrow night ok? I still haven’t shaved.

E: Can you call me?  You're kinda trippin me out.

B: cant now.  I'm with my family.  Ill text in a couple hours…

E:  I think I'm going to pass.  Good luck to you.

#3  Ugly Christmas Tree

Talked on phone 3 times…hit it off.   Had him meet me at a Halloween party and he is gorgeous!  My friends and I thought it would be funny to dress as something non-traditional and un-sexy this year so I dressed super ugly as big Christmas tree.  Needless to say, I think he thought I didn’t look like my photos.   My mom asked me if I was trying to sabotage myself.  

#4 The Hypochondriac

Talked on the phone with this guy for a total of several hours.  Seemed very cool.  Had a great date and even planned second date right away.  He calls day of date to cancel because he has a pinched nerve.  2 days later I get this e-mail on Match.com from him:

"So, I started losing my ability to read with my left eye the night of our first date, and my vision as of this morning has gone from 20/20 to 20/120. My doctor told me it’s time for another surgery…

Here are a couple of videos that best describe the procedure.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kco8aseNCgo&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g98qNWDxKrs&feature=related

Make sure you're not eating anything before starting the videos.

While this isn't exactly the diagnosis I have, it's essentially the same surgery. They have to peel off this membrane that has formed and is pulling the retina in all different directions, causing an adema on the macula.

Sad to say, I'm not going to be much up for dating for a short while. please dont' be offended if I just seem to go away.. I basically am :-)"

Really with the video?  I never watched it.

#5 "Top Gun"

This dude said he was a graduate of TOPGUN.  F-14 pilot.  Well, that was back in the day.  Now he is an actor. He walked away from me at the coffee house register and started singing Christmas carols LOUDLY through the place looking for a table... "Walking in a Winter Wonderland!"  He is one of those loud-talker guys where everyone in the restaurant keeps turning around and looking. I was saved when I realized my meter was about to run out.  This dude also picked up a piece of toilet paper from the ground saying, "I wonder if this got stuck to someone's foot?!"